Welcome to my blog

About 1 year ago, i was called back to the faith of my youth Catholicism.  I tried many practices over the years, but nothing felt like home until now.  I am a devout Catholic, and a horrible sinner.  I have gone through a year of separation and divorce, and i knew i would need an even closer connection to God.  Since i came back "home", a great deal has happened.  i have heard God and our Blessed Mother more clearly then in my previous 41 years of life. 

My Patron saint is Pio of Petrulecina was an incredible Victim Soul.  I fell in love with his story,and he helped bring me back to the faith.  But i never dreamt i would be called in a way similar to serve Jesus.  In fact, i feel so inadequate and unworthy most times, i have doubted this calling.  4 times i have denied the words i heard from Mary...:offer yourself for others to my Son, and i will keep you safe"

who am I?? Why me???  I fail you so often Jesus, you must mean someone else??

But yet, he gently persists in seeking me.

in the lst 4 months, i have heard Jesus and Mary on multiple occasions.  I have heard who i ma to pray for at times.  i have had peop0le put right in front of me at other times.  Although i often suffer great physical pain when offering myself...there is a sweet joy in it.  It is when i feel most worthy, sometimes the only time i do.  I feel close to God, and a wonderful almost disbelief, that he could actually interested in me.

If anyone ever finds this blog, or makes comments i will relate some of the experiences Ive had.  I can tell you that in recent times, i have had an old hernia rupture, my gallbladder failed and was removed, i have suffered incredible abdominal pain that is still unexplained, and i am going in for surgery this week for a blockage in my heart.

while the skeptic could say, this is simply a failing physical body, the tests on my heart alone are baffling.  ever test except one, shows zero signs of a problem.  The Doctor said we have no explanation why you failed 2 stress tests, it doesn't make sense or show any signs of a problem, but we cant deny the results.  So what happened??  My friend Mike was going in for minor heart surgery,and i offered myself for him, 2 months ago, Ive had problems ever since.  sometimes my suffering has seemingly helped others...sadly in this case my friend passed after a complication after surgery...

i am no scholar, i know so little, but i believe JESUS has called me...so i continue to offer myself, and we will see what God has in mind

B3